I’m tired of crying, and throwing up and running from sleep or rest because everytime i lay down i wanna be with you.
I was an idiot, i should have never taken my guard down because when i love, i love hard but i didn’t know that feeling this pain Would be so hard. I just don’t know what I did. And it eats me up to be a stranger like a week ago we didn’t just have the world. It hurts and it makes me sick because it hurts so bad, i leave class early to contain myself, I’m talking to people who i don’t even care about to kill time, I’m finding a life, I’m trying to be strong because i know i don’t deserve this pain. I don’t deserve this…..at all.
why develop feelings for people when you can just walk into traffic and achieve the same results
I miss you.
I miss us time.
I still love you.
The pain of that process is probably one of the worst feelings that can ever exist known to mankind. I see why they say you can die from a broken heart, all the breath gets sucked out of my lungs and i can’t breathe. My eyes are violently rushed with tears of pain and shame.
Shame that you feel this way right now.
Shame that you allow this situation to have this much power you.
Shamed that your trippen even though you expected this to happen.
Ashamed that your not good enough.
That your weak.
Ashamed that you spent your time thinking, wanting,and wishing that you were with someone that didn’t give a fuck about you.
Ashamed that you can’t stop crying because you had some thoughts that shit was different and i was enough…
Guilty for making it all about me right now.
My heart is just broken for thr simple fact that i am an idiot, i gave my whole heart out and no matter what i do i can’t get it back until all the peices are broken. Even i walk away now or vow to be a friend, even thru the disappointment and the sadness you would still have my heart until time and distance ate it all up.
I just need a new heart.
But i will wait until i feel nothing…and all the peices are gone before i start over.
I refuse to do this again.
This is not the movies, where at the end of the day you are all that person wanted, this is not a fairly tail where you live happily ever after.
Sometimes no matter what you do, where you are, how good you treat people, how hard you try and pray that shit won’t happen, sometimes….most of the times it will. Your just not good enough. Sorry Cinderella. But this isn’t a fairy tale it’s a beautiful night mare for the moment.
Sex won’t do the trick.
Another girl won’t do the trick.
I have to work on mind control and being strong.
I have to work on so much…
Just so much.
I never signed up for this.
Well I did.
I knew what i was getting into. But now im just waiting until every peice of my heart and hope in this is shattered, that will be the only way i am free.
What a concept…
Does freedom really even exist?